For day 16 I thought I was noticing a pattern but it doesn't seem consistent.

The last number stays the same. The number before the last number is "driven" by whatever that last number was.

Then after I am not sure how its working. Sometimes the 3rd number from the last, is moving by what the second number was and other times its a sum of the previous rows, n - 1 numbers.

I can't even focus at work anymore lol

I have a secret repl open and everything

It always day 14ish where I flunk out of AoC

I dont like asking for help because I feel that that the star wasnt earned but i think its time for some reddit help

You have the right observation. I'd recommend looking at the pattern of the sums leading to it, as well, starting from that last number.

Day 18: https://gitlab.com/dmarjenburgh/adventofcode/blob/master/src/adventofcode/year_2019.clj#L505-539